Extra Verses For Well-Known Songs

These aren't entire parodies, just verses that are intended to go after the original songs

Crazy Mixed-Up Song
Daisy Bell
McPherson's Rant
Oh, Susannah
Rickety-Tickety-Tin (Tom Lehrer's Irish Ballad)
Cluck Old Hen

Crazy Mized-Up Song (Midnight On The Ocean)

This is the song whose chorus goes "be kind to your web-footed friends, For a duck may be somebody's mother . . .

It was midnight on the ocean when I caught the train for land
The brakemen all were broke and the conductor led the band
The train was on a wedding dress, the groom was with the horse
And the bride was on the track: it was a bridal trail, of course



Daisy Bell

You already know the first verse. Somebody added a second verse which I put here for those who haven't heard it. The third verse is mine. (Actually, the original song had three verses. The "Daisy, Daisy" part was the chorus.)

Harry, Harry, here is my answer true
You're half crazy if you think that that will do
If you can't afford a carriage
There won't be any marriage
Cause I'll be switched if I'll get hitched
On a bicycle built for two

Daisy, Daisy, now that you've answered no
Where's your sister? Maybe she'd like to go
I'll keep asking girls at random
Till someone likes my tandem
Before I'm dead I will be wed
On a bicycle built for two.


Tom Lehrer's Irish Ballad

She tired of her life of crime
Sing rickety-tickety-tin
She tired of her life of crime
It's boring killing folks one at a time
So she moved to England and chynged her nyme
To Margaret Thatcher


McPherson's Rant

And when they held McPherson's wake
Full loud the piper blew
The soldiers realized their mistake
And hanged the piper too


Oh, Susannah

I'm leaving Louisiana with an old friend on my mind
He lives in Alabama and he won't be hard to find
Because he's always playing on the banjo on his knee
And the only time he moves it is to make some room for me

I'm Susannah, I can't stay here no more
There's a man in Alabama, he's the one I'm crying for.


Cluck Old Hen

My old hen's a union hen
Ain't laid an egg on god knows when
Says her pay don't meet her needs
She ain't gonna work for chicken feed

My old hen's a high-class hen
She lays eggs for gentlemen
Can't persuade her with gun or lariat
To put out for the proletariat(adapted from Dorothy Parker)

My old rooster's a good old rooster
He don't crow the way he useter
Ever since the railroad men
Made chicken soup of my old hen

My old hen's a travelling hen
Crosses the road every now and then
Ask her why she takes that walk
She just clucks cause she can't talk

My old hen's a bad old hen
She swears worse than the railroad men
When she fell in the old horse trough
She said "Cluck! Cluck! Cluck! Cluck! Cluck off!"