I was riding a small motorcycle at night and got hit by a drunk car driver. If you've driven drunk, I forgive you. If you plan to do it again, do it on a small motorcycle, and leave me your car in your will.

I do have a prosthetic. It took me almost thirty years to find somebody who could make a hip disarticulation prosthetic that actually worked. His name is Tony van der Waarde and his website is www.awardprosthetics.com. Almost all hip-disartic prosthetics end up in the closet because they are difficult and dangerous to use and about as uncomfortable as you would imagine. Most prosthetists and hospitals are completely out of their depth and assume that nobody can do better. That is not true. I have a fully articulated (hip, knee, ankle) leg that really works and a pegleg that is very much lighter and works better. I manage to wear a prosthetic about ten hours a day, four days a week.

Good Points	Bad Points
I can carry a cup of coffee People don't freak out as much It gives my shoulders a break It gives me a huge incentive not to get fat	It's not really stable enough to carry large awkward harps It gets in the way sitting down It attracts fetishists It's a serious nuisance in the bathroom

How To Deal With Physically Handicapped People
Offer them your seat on the bus if there are no empty seats nearby
Don't assume they're also mentally challenged
Don't talk to their significant others as if they weren't there
Don't swat your kids for noticing
Don't start the conversation, "I wept because I had no shoes . . ."
If you feel awkward, it's not your fault. Or theirs. Or very important.